Before I Added a quote:

In his TED Talk, “The Transformative Power of Classical Music,” he tells of a story when he changed a little boy’s life forever. Through his explanation of how to listen and understand classical music, a little boy from Ireland finally cried and grieved his older brothers death.

After I Added a quote:

Through his explanation of how to listen and understand classical music, a little boy from Ireland finally cried and grieved his older brothers death as he told Zander, “…when you played that piece, he was the one I was thinking about” (Zander 16:23).

Before I Revised the quote:

According to Peter Singer, by accepting the shallow-pond analogy, everyone has become morally horrific. As Southan states it, “Would you jump in and rescue her, even if you hadn’t pushed her in? Even if it meant ruining your clothes?” (435).

Here, the flow from the previous sentence into the quote doesn’t transition well and may not relate as well as I thought.

After I Revised the quote:

According to Peter Singer, by accepting the shallow-pond analogy, everyone has become morally horrific. As Southan explains the analogy in regards to a little girl falling into a lake, “Would you jump in and rescue her, even if you hadn’t pushed her in? Even if it meant ruining your clothes?” (435).

Flows much better now

Before I Revised the quote:

In contrast, the Effective Altruisms concept of replaceability states that “…the only good that counts is what you accomplish over and above what the next person would have done in your place. In equation form” (Southan 436).

This might not make sense since Southan wrote it but that it’s about the EA, so I think clarification is needed here.

After I Revised the quote:

In contrast, Southan states that the Effective Altruisms concept of replaceability is“…the only good that counts is what you accomplish over and above what the next person would have done in your place. In equation form” (436).

Now you know it was Southan writing in regards to the EA