Intro – Before:

Intro – After:

Shallow Pond – Before:

Shallow Pond – After:

The Little Seagull Handbook only really reaffirmed what my peers had said about my writing. What they had written for comments made logical sense to me, so when I opened up Little Seagull, it was no surprise that when I came to the sections on tightening up a paragraph and writing a great introduction paragraph(s) they said they same thing. I didn’t preview anything about Southan or Zander in my intro, so that needed to get addressed and, in my opinion, was priority #1 and was an easy fix. Revising my paragraph on Peter Singer’s analogy was a bit more complex, but reading what my peers were saying gave me a better understanding of what he was saying and how it ties into this all. While what I said about Singer’s analogy was strong, I didn’t have much evidence to back it up, so adding in a quote, explaining it, and making sure it had the correct placement in the paragraph was a bit tricky, but all worked out, and was priority #2 on my list. Overall, these changes only made my argument stronger and I didn’t disagree about anything my peers said about my essay. It was a great experience to have and helped me to be a better writer.